


Goodnight

by Lesterlockian



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Death, Dreams, Grieving Dan, I'm Sorry, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Sad, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:51:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5286140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesterlockian/pseuds/Lesterlockian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan dreams of the perfect wedding day, only to wake up to what's really happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodnight

Dan's POV

The pianist started to play as Phil walked up the isle. Today was our wedding day, and it was already perfect. I had to restrain myself from turning around as I heard the guests stand to their feet.

I shot a look at my brother, the best man, who gave me a thumbs up and a cheeky nod as he looked at Phil for me.

We were soon joined together at the altar, Phil's mother giving me a quick kiss on the cheek as she took a seat behind us.

"Please be seated." Started the Vicar.

I glanced up to Phil beside me.

Wow!

He looked beautiful. His blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight which shone through the stain glass windows.

Our suits complemented each other, myself wearing a dark grey shirt and Phil wearing a white shirt. We both had the same black suit coat with cat whisker cufflinks. Phil insisted.

I was so lost in Phil's eyes I had completely missed the introduction.

"Dan!" Phil giggled, giving me a nudge to pay attention.

"Do you Daniel James Howell take Philip Michael Lester to be your lawful wedded husband?" He prompted.

I took Phil's hands in mine. "Yes, I promise to love you for as long as I live. I promise to always be there for you, like you are for me. You make me the happiest man alive. I will care for you and cuddle you when you're ill, hold your hand when you're afraid, stand up for you whenever someone steals your idea without giving credit-" The crowd laughed along with us.

"I promise to love you, even when we have bad days. I promise that, unlike you, I won't eat all your cereal. I'll wake up early so we can watch anime together in the mornings. And even when we're old and grey, I want you to know that, Phil you are the sunshine to my world, and I will never let you down. So yeah, I do."

Phil's eyes were close to tears as the church filled with cheers. "Dan you're making me emotional," he said, gripping my hands tight.

"And you Philip Michael Lester, take Daniel James Howell as your lawful wedded husband?"

He took a deep breath, he wasn't as good at long speeches but often came out with the accidental quote now and then.

"Well, I don't know how to stand up to that but Dan, you are everything to me. I can never thank you enough for coming into my life, stalking me on Twitter, making videos with me. I do, and I always will."

I felt my heart do that little flippy over thing as he pressed his forehead to mine. I was so lucky to have him, I would never let him go. We turned to the Vicar once more.

"Well, I am happy to announce you husband and husband! You may now kiss the groom!"

Phil turned back to look at me as the space between us thinned. He brushed my fringe with his hand and ran his thumb across my cheek. Holding his hand tightly in my left we leaned forward so that our lips met.

\----------------------

I woke up gasping for breath.

It was real, it had to be real.

I rolled over in my bed searching for Phil. He wasn't there. I ran into his room.

It was empty. Just boxes and an abandoned bed with a stripped mattress.

Where was he?

And then I remembered.

I felt myself sink to the floor as everything came running back to me.

He was dead.

I had to bite my hand to stop me from screaming out. My eyes stung a bright red as I held back the tears. My heart was loud and fast in my chest. I knocked my head against the wall, hoping the pain would be worse than what I felt. It didn't work. I wanted to scream.

I want to smash everything in sight. But I couldn't, I was too tired. That was the first time I've slept in over a week. I normally have nightmares about that day, the sirens, the knock at the door.

I looked up and noticed his duvet had been removed.

No!

Not that!

That meant it wasn't his bed anymore.

That meant he was definitely gone.

My hands started shaking as I scrambled across the floor reaching for the mattress. He'd gone, his comforting smell had been taken away from me.

The tears were fast and heavy, running down my cheeks until my vision became blurry. I struggled to stand, the room spinning around me. I picked up the nearest object and threw it against the wall as hard as I could. I heard a loud thud and a shatter of glass as it hit the floor. It was a good feeling though, I let out a shaking breath as I went to pick up. The shattered glass was sharp and cut my hand, crimson red dripping along my palm as I took the photo in hand.

"No, Philly!" I cried, hugging the picture tightly to my chest. The cracked glass ran across the photo of him, he smiled back at me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

I started rocking back and forth in an attempt to calm myself. My hand was sore but at least I was feeling some other pain.

Why did they have to take him away from me?

Why him? Why my Phil?

He was so good to the world, why did he loose his life, why couldn't it me!?

I ran over to his wardrobe and pulled out the nearest clothing piece I could find. It was the Fox jumper, it looked so fitting on him, it suited him perfectly. The grey complemented his eyes so nicely.

I pulled it near to me, it still had wifts of his scent, a mixture of deodorant and a warm sweet smell, almost like cinnamon and that Christmas feeling. I dropped to the floor as I held it and pictured him sitting next to me, cradling my arms and telling me everything was alright. That I wasn't alone.

It had been two weeks.

Two weeks without him.

Two weeks by myself in the dark flat.

I never let anyone in but his Mother, who must have cleaned up earlier this morning. Everything in his room had started to be packed away. There lay a large box on his bed, I could see letters and paper overflowing from the top. I guess his Mum had left that out for me.

I carefully opened it and found a bunch of letters addressed with my name on, they seemed new. I opened the first one from the pile of hundreds. It was from them, the phandom. Hundreds of signatures and messages covered the A3 sized paper in different colors. I read each message, their kind words telling me life would get better and that they were sorry. They miss him too. He meant the same to them as he did to me.

But it still hurt.

Everyday I would take the time to picture him, trying to remember each feature of his beautiful face. I didn't want to forget.

But today I couldn't, my mind went blank as I pictured his face. I could see his eyes.

I could always see his eyes.

But everything else was a blur.

No.

I couldn't forget.

Not yet.

It's too soon!

I rushed back into my room and picked up my phone, scrolling through the photo's till I found the one from Japan. The one where he was taking a selfie under the cheery blossom tree, I managed to take a snap of it too.

Little did he know that I always did this. Nearly every other photo on my phone are ones that I had taken of him, often when he was sleeping.

He looked so precious and tiny when sleeping.

And that's what he's doing now, I suppose.

He's cosy in that little box, having a beautiful, long dream. Maybe he's dreaming about our wedding day too.

I only wish that I got to say goodnight.


End file.
